


Keep Your Hands To Yourself

by diemarysues



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:58:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7820572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/pseuds/diemarysues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Culminative work where I asked for prompts and worked with the results. </p><p>lisangria, seconded by kaavyawriting, voted for powerbottom Bilbo/service top Thorin.<br/>bagginshieldhappiness wanted seductive Bilbo.<br/>beautyagegoodnesssize wanted dirty letters from Bilbo to Thorin.<br/>one-go-alone wished for Bilbo to '''walk in''' on Thorin.<br/>emsiecat would be happy with sappy, loving, 'canonverse'<br/>sailorbryant's really started this all of...<i>They make a bet that Thorin can't make it a week without giving in, and Thorin is assured it will be no problem, but Bilbo fights dirty.</i></p><p>I tried to get everything in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Your Hands To Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Special mention to godihatethisfreakingcat who wanted modern au - sorry I couldn't fit that in! maybe another time.
> 
> This is my best attempt at a PWP to date. Not to say the smut is good, but I tried to get to it as quickly as I could.

"Try to remember, a week."

 

"And you try to remember, I have said that it will be no problem. So long as you don't cheat and send me letters again."

 

"Cheat?" Bilbo's eyes flashed. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

 

"There's hardly a double meaning, my dear Hobbit. You are perfectly aware of how risque your letters were when you returned to the Shire. I had to excuse myself the first few times; before I learned not to read them in public."

 

"Hmph. It's a good thing you know how to read such things with a straight face."

 

"And how do you know that?"

 

"Rumours and reports. Apparently the King was very good at hiding his emotions, though his retiring after each letter clearly showed how much he missed his Consort."

 

"That's one way of putting it."

 

"I'm sure no one would have said anything to me if they'd noticed you with a -"

 

"Yes, alright, thank you. No need to say it out loud."

 

"So innocent, my King, so shy."

 

Thorin made to grab Bilbo. "I'll show you innocent, you -"

 

"Oh, no, no," Bilbo said, dancing out of Thorin's grip. "You've a full week to go."

 

Thorin watched his Hobbit's receding back and debated whether he should call out for Bilbo to remember not to cheat - but that would be a waste of breath, he decided, and resigned himself to a week that would not be easy to get through.

 

* * *

 

 

It seemed that phase one of Bilbo’s attack strategy was just to be around more often. He did not usually attend council meetings, for example, certainly not if he could avoid them. But now he was by Thorin’s side every day, making sure to stay within Thorin’s line of sight. Luckily, it took more than his husband’s presence to distract Thorin from important matters of state.

 

Bilbo was perceptive enough to notice this by the middle of the second day.

 

On the third day, he came in wearing Dwarven style clothes, in Thorin’s colours.

 

Thorin glared at the creamy look on his Consort’s face but took care not to let his gaze drop. There would be no stopping his imagination if he allowed himself to rove over heavy fabric and wondered at what it hid. There would be also the temptation of imagining removing that heavy fabric to properly appreciate what it hid.

 

Wait, he wasn’t supposed to be thinking along these lines. Damn it.

 

Bilbo smiled at him. Thorin deliberately looked away.

 

The next day was Bilbo’s own colours, reds and golds with a hint of green, and he looked even more delicious. His skin almost glowed, enhanced by the strategic placement of a fine gold chain around his neck, a few plain rings, and a chunky anklet. It appeared that the Hobbit was quite good at cheating.

 

On the fifth day, Bilbo walked in on Thorin.

 

“Looks like you’ve lost,” he said, looking shocked still.

 

Thorin sat in the middle of the bed, completely unclothed and with both hands around his cock. “I think you’ll find that you said I couldn’t make love to you. I’m still not.”

 

With Bilbo watching – perhaps a little too closely –, Thorin started to move his hands again. He let his legs fall apart to offer a better view. It was true that he was using his memories of Bilbo’s touch as he touched himself, but Bilbo didn’t have to know that bit. All Bilbo had to do was stand where he was and listen to Thorin moan. Thorin rubbed the pads of his fingers more firmly along the underside of his cock, and the next thing he knew was the door slamming closed.

 

* * *

 

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," sing-songed Bilbo.

 

"I think you mean cock," Thorin said, bringing Bilbo's hand to the obvious bulge. "As it is, mine is quite fond of you. This week has been torture."

 

"But you made it through." Bilbo rocked his palm, once, then added, "With some cheating."

 

"Hah! As if you weren't." Thorin's hands ghosted along Bilbo's thighs, then crept over his hips to cup his arse. "Mmm. I've missed this."

 

"Ooh, let's stop talking about it and concentrate on what we're doing."

 

"I am concentrating." He gently squeezed his ample handfuls. "Would you like to be fucked, my Hobbit?"

 

“Yesss,” Bilbo hissed. His head had fallen back but now he straightened to consider Thorin thoughtfully. “However, you ought to be rewarded for your restraint. Your partial restraint.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I want you to just lie back and enjoy the show.”

 

“Then may I make a request?”

 

“What is it?”

 

Thorin pulled his hands back so he could now just gesture to his stiffness, wordless in his appeal – no, _invitation_. He coupled it with a hopeful look.

 

He was given a wry one in return, but Bilbo obligingly plucked at the lacings of Thorin’s trousers, pushed down his smallclothes, and gave a quiet hum when he drew Thorin’s cock free. Thorin’s reaction was less subtle; for all that he’d done the same not days ago, there was nothing like the feel of his husband’s fingers around him.

 

“That’s good,” he said rumblingly, sinking back onto the pillows.

 

“I’ve only just started,” Bilbo said, nonetheless sounding flattered.

 

He did not tease, but he did not go quickly either. Bilbo fit his mouth to the head of Thorin’s cock, sucking gently. His eyes were downturned, lashes fanned against his ample cheeks, and he looked beautiful. Thorin groaned at the sight, groaning again as Bilbo’s hand wandered up and down his length.

 

Bilbo frowned a bit at the resistance and immediately took Thorin all the way into his mouth, again slowly but steadily, laving Thorin’s cock liberally with his tongue. He pulled off with an undignified slurp; it sounded like music to Thorin’s ears. Bilbo repeated this motion three times before he was satisfied with the now-easy slide of his hand.

 

Thorin kept his hips as still as he could.

 

“How’s this?” Bilbo asked, shifting on the bed and gazing up at Thorin. He was still wearing his rings, and they were yet a cold counterpoint to the heat of his mouth.

 

“Very –” Thorin bit off a curse, back arching, arse pressing back onto the bed. “Good. Wonderful.”

 

He licked his lips, brushing deliberately, surely deliberately, against the slit.

 

“Bilbo…”

 

“Worried you won’t last, my dear?”

 

“Yes, actually.”

 

“But you’re the one who asked for this?”

 

He fingered honey-brown curls. “I’ll take my reward now, if you please.”

 

“I will please.” Bilbo placed a smacking kiss to Thorin’s thigh, then scrambled over to fetch the oil. It seemed that Bilbo was serious when he said ‘lie back and enjoy the show’, as he prepared himself efficiently all the while hovering over Thorin. Every time Thorin tried to help, or even tried to touch Bilbo casually, he found himself either glared at or having his hand smacked away. It didn’t take long for him to keep his hands on either side of his head, clenching and unclenching, as even touching himself as he watched Bilbo finger himself would cause things to come to an abrupt and unsatisfying end.

 

“Alright, up, up!”

 

“Up has already happened, my One,” Thorin replied dryly, though he did concede to climbing to his feet. “What are you up to?”

 

“Go sit on your chair.”

 

Luckily for him, that was a short distance. It was never comfortable to walk very far with his cock as hard as it was. “I don’t want oil on the fabric. I sit there.”

 

Bilbo threw a towel at his head.

 

Thorin spread it over the seat and sat down. He couldn’t help an excited shiver when Bilbo splased oil over his palm and then coated his cock, expecting Bilbo to then settle in his lap. He didn’t expect that his husband would do so… backwards?

 

“Just something new,” Bilbo said over his shoulder, answering the unasked question. It was a good thing that Thorin’s chair was deep and wide, as there was more than enough place for them to squeeze in together. Balancing carefully with his hands on Thorin’s knees, Bilbo lowered himself so Thorin’s cock caught on his rim.

 

“I approve heartily,” was Thorin’s reply, and again he had to work not to move, this time so Bilbo wouldn’t topple off him. That would surely be a way to ruin the mood, make no mistake. But he so dearly wanted to thrust upwards and slide between Bilbo’s cheeks again.

 

As if reading his mind, Bilbo lifted up and sank down, hands clenching on Thorin’s knees and nails digging into his skin.

 

This was an excellent idea, not least because Thorin had an unimpeded view of what was happening. Even though Bilbo had his chin hooked over his shoulder, trying to look as well, Thorin was better treated to the sight of his darkly flushed cock brushing but not quite entering Bilbo.

 

“Backwards a tad, my One,” Thorin encouraged, and smiled when Bilbo cooed as his cock slipped snugly into him.

 

Oh that felt _so_ good.

 

Bilbo started by rocking back and forth, getting used to this new position. Confident that he wouldn’t fall off – and that they were both deriving pleasure – he set to a rhythm with his considerable will.

 

Thorin wished he could kiss his husband. But, sacrifices and all that.

 

Deciding that there was a time for him to cheat as well, Thorin took hold of Bilbo’s forearms, insistently pulling backwards so that he could lock Bilbo’s hands behind his back. The new position had Bilbo straightening his spine and – more importantly – had his moans grow louder.

 

“N-not fair,” Bilbo gasped.

 

Thorin did not reply to this, grinning smugly; not only did Bilbo look a pretty picture, he’d apparently become desperate enough for release that he was going as quickly as he could, bouncing up and down almost violently. Even so, he seemed to be in control of some of his faculties, timing every squeeze around Thorin’s cock on the upslide.

 

Since this wasn’t any sort of competition – it was a reward for him, for Mahal’s sake – Thorin settled back into his chair and _came_.

**Author's Note:**

> New position, tell me how I did~


End file.
